Savoring the Small Moments

One morning last week, I was puzting around my kitchen assembling lunches and doing dishes after breakfast.  The sun shone in through the one window in my kitchen (always an exciting moment here in Seattle!) and as I was enjoying the moment, my thoughts turned to my children.  One was belting out Coldplay while trying to play the piano, another was running around with his latest Lego creation, and another was doing her best to avoid brushing her teeth :)  My baby, Gray, was simply trying to keep up with his siblings as he darted from room to room doing his darnedest to make his presence known :).

I closed my eyes for several seconds in attempt to take it all in...

I thought about these short, fleeting, tender moments when everything feels just right.  I wish I could say I felt this way all the time--or even often--but I don't.  I'm not sure if that's normal or not, but I do know that for me, savoring the brief experience is of the utmost importance to my overall sense of balance and one of my greatest pleasures in life.  So today, and in the future, try a little more savoring and enjoying; when you too feel the stars aligning, even for a few minutes.  Look for the silver linings.  Relish in the good kind of chaos.  And do your best to memorize every nuance because someday, when life feels more complicated, you'll give anything to relive these sweet moments over and over.  

image by Shannon Wight Photography

Less is More

Or so they say...but is it really true?

Rachel mentioned her thoughts awhile back; Rebecca shared hers around the same time as well (there is something about this time of year, yes?!); and now it feels like the right time to chime in as well, given all of the desperately-needed closet cleansing I've been doing (and still need to do!).   As I've tossed many things into donation bags over the last month or so, I cannot help but ponder this whole idea of less being more.  Is it true?  Is it true all the time?  Is it true sometimes?

I started contemplating why I am drawn to water and the nearby beach.  What is it that makes the experience so tranquil?  I concluded that it was the lack of material possessions mixed with the presence of a few stunning objects--beautiful, simple tokens from nature.  Being in a place completely lacking of any "thing" creates clarity and immediate relaxation, because there are simply fewer distractions.  This type of environment allows our minds to hone in on just a couple of things, instead of being visually and mentally spread thin.  Once I nailed down exactly why I felt this way, the wheels started turning in my head and I started thinking about my fairly recent decision to attempt to be as cautious as possible about the stuff I bring into my life.



I've observed over time that an attachment to material objects can become unhealthy.  Sometimes the need to be surrounded by "stuff" is indicative of discomfort in other areas of our life.  It is so easy to ignore the true issues at hand if we continually pad our lives with things.  Have you ever felt that in purging a closet or garage or drawer that you also experience clarity regarding other areas--likely unrelated to organizing--in your life?  It's a crazy effect, but it really does happen.

"Less is more" doesn't just have to do with purging--being more careful about consumption is a forward step as well.  Lately, I am trying to be very mindful of my purchases.  I find that if I think long and hard about buying something I come to one of two conclusions--either that it is a purchase worth making or that I can do without (usually it's the latter).  The ironic thing is that saying "pass" on something feels good too.

Now some of you may read this and say, 'Gah! But I have kids and that is a game changer', to which I'd reply `yes, it is!'.  Children = stuff.  This I know!  But moderation in all things, even kids' gear/stuff, is a good mantra to consult when sifting and sorting.  When our renovation in France took an unexpected amount of time, we found ourselves living for months without a supply of toys.  We had a couple (literally 2 or 3) on hand that the kids purchased at vide greniers, but that was all.  I was surprised at how well they entertained themselves with other things and it was a great lesson for my husband and I to learn--kids can survive without being entertained by parents and toys.  And not only do they survive, but they thrive!

Yet, when I go downstairs and peek at my kids' current rooms (which are usually messy), I confess I have a hard time donating certain things.  Also, I remind myself what a messy child and teenager I was (I used to wade through pools of clothes--no joke) and that this is all just a stage.  For me, the `less is more' gig is more for myself and the areas I manage.  I'll probably let my kids figure it out on their own (with a little prodding perhaps :)).  This is when it comes in handy to just shut the door :)

I realize this is a sensitive subject for some and I admit I do feel quite vulnerable penning all these thoughts and sharing them with you all...but there is no turning back now I suppose :)  What are your ideas on the matter?

image 1 - moi / image 2 - Nikole Herriott of Herriott Grace (gorgeous wares!)

How to Pin on Pinterest

This month I've started dabbling in Pinterest...finding things to "pin", creating albums for personal and public use, and making it easier for you to pin things from my blog with the click of a button (if you felt inspired to do so).  A little late to the game, yes, but better late than never!  I guess you could say that before I felt good about adding anything else mildly distracting to my life, the timing had to be right.

That being said, I cannot resist any longer :)

I've been watching the chatter on Twitter over the past few months as many artists (photographers, chefs, stylists, etc.) have become frustrated with the lack of credibility given to their work; some have even boycotted Pinterest all together.  I think we all assume that the links on the pins are correct (I know I did!), but that is not always the case.  While I am not a professional photographer, I do snap many of my own images for this blog and I've occasionally been notified when my images are being attributed to another blog/individual  You see, a lot of work goes into making time for shooting, shooting, editing, uploading, etc. and to see someone just snatch it up in seconds is a bit disconcerting; I'm sure it's unintentional, but insensitive nonetheless.  Can you imagine how it would feel to be a professional and to watch this type of thing happen over and over?  Ben Silbermann, founder of Pinterest, seems like the nicest guy ever (his keynote at Alt was a conference highlight to be sure), and I know that it isn't his intention to create a platform for stealing intellectual property.  However, the fact remains that it's still easy to do unless one is consciously and rightfully attributing images on Pinterest. If we all pull together and do this the right way, together we can make Pinterest a happy place for everyone.



And now, the embarrassing news...when I first started pinning this month, I actually pinned improperly to my boards.  Oh man, I felt so guilty when I realized what I'd done!  Lesson learned: Pinterest will not automatically and properly source an image--this part is our responsibility.  I decided to write this post, gleaning insight from seasoned pinners, and share my new found knowledge in the form of 5 different "pinning scenarios".  My goal is to simply share, not preach.  Hopefully what you'll see and read will keep you from making the same mistakes I did!  At the end of this post, we will all know how to correctly pin on Pinterest and we'll all feel better logging on, knowing that we are giving credit where credit is due.  Ready to learn more?

How to Pin on Pinterest: Scenario no.1:

So let's say you find something beautiful that you want to add to one of your Pinterest boards.  I'll use this "Easter terrarium" image from Terrain as the example (you know I have a thing for terrariums...).

Take a quick moment and add the "pin it" bookmarklet to your bookmarks tool bar to make pinning super convenient.  While the page with the Easter/Spring terrarium is open, click on the "pin it" button in your toolbar.

A screen that looks like this will come up.  Click on the image you want to pin.



Then a screen like this will pop up.  Pinterest is giving you options as to where you want to place it...maybe in one of your existing boards?  or maybe a new board?  I decided to place the image of the Easter/Spring Terrarium on my "tabletop" board (see right images).



I typed in a brief description, including the name of the source (double coverage).  Success!

How to Pin on Pinterest: Scenario no.2:

When an image comes from directly from the source (as in scenario no.1), pinning is a cinch.   However, when an comes from another blog, it's not as cut and dry.  Let's peek at this adorable party created by Karen Mordechai for her daughter Sophia; a party that was also featured on Sara's Party Perfect (a really fun site for party ideas!).  Even though the party is showcased on Sara's blog, if you decide to pin the image, it should be attributed to Karen, yes? 

Now Sara is always great about crediting images--she probably has a 100% track record--so luckily the link to Karen's blog is included in the post.  In cases like this, all you need to do is click on the original source...typically mentioned within the body of text or at the end of the post.  In the post on Sara's Party Perfect, I clicked on the "Sunday Suppers" link at the bottom of the post and it linked me directly to the original post on Karen's blog.  Then I pinned it :)

My screen looked like this:

I then selected the image I wanted to pin and the board where I wanted the image placed (let's party).  I included a brief description as to why I liked it so much and then clicked "pin it".



How to Pin on Pinterest: Scenario no.3:

You're trolling Smitten Kitchen (or another great food blog), just hoping to find something appetizing and quick to make for dinner tonight.  Ah ha!  You find it.  Oh and that picture is so pretty, you just have to pin it to your "dinner tonight" board.

But hold your horses here a moment...there is a quick 2-second-step you can do that will make it easy for your followers to track back the pin to the actual recipe, even if it is "repinned" a million times (they will thank you for this!).  All you need to do as you scan down the front page is to take a second to click on the actual post url BEFORE clicking "pin it".  On Deb's blog, if your cursor touches the title of the post a message pops up "grab the permanent link to lasagna bolognese".  A gentle reminder that linking to the permanent link, vs. the general main page, is the best way to go.

When you click on the permanent link (the title of the post), the post will pop to the top of the page.  Now, pin it!  The direct link will now be associated with your pin, making it super easy for your followers to track down this seemingly fabulous recipe.  No more searching through mounds of posts to find what you need as it was pinned correctly from step 1, thanks to you!


How to Pin on Pinterest: Scenario no.4: 


Now what do you do when you want to pin something on a blog that includes images, and the appropriate artist name, but not a link?  Danyelle Mathews, expert pinner and author of the delightful blog, Dandee Designs, recommended a quick Google search of the artist's name...surely a link to a blog, website or Facebook page will pop up.  Then, in the "describe your pin" box include the artist's name as well as a link to his or her site.  It might take you an extra 60 seconds, but that artist will thank you.  If you believe in karma like I do, then you know this is an extra step worth taking.

How to Pin on Pinterest: Scenario no.5: 

If the post doesn't indicate a link or a lead of any kind, then it's probably wise to just say "pass".  Chances are you'll stumble upon the proper source at some point in the near future.  Case in point: not 15 minutes after I pinned an uncredited image, the original source popped up in one of my other searches.  I will never make that mistake again (note: I've since gone back and deleted the pins without credit)).  Just think, if one image is pinned and repinned without credit, then a snowball effect takes place and suddenly there is a diaspora of copyright theft and plagiarism throughout the site.  And that is precisely what we want to avoid, right?!

I am very optimistic about the future of the site, especially after receiving the recent email from Pinterest regarding updated terms; but I do believe it's our responsibility to be honest in our pinning, as we seek to be inspired by the works and ideas that make Pinterest the beautiful place it is.  For this post I asked a few bloggers to share a bit of advice...I just love the idea of having so much helpful information in one post!


Here's what they had to say...be sure to add your two cents in the comments too.  Thanks!

Chelsea / {frolic!}: "I label each photo with the original source in the caption and if it is not linked to the original source, I add the link in the caption."

Jenn / Ambrosia Creative: "Sometimes I'd pin a different item from a website/e-commerce site than the original pin that drew me in the first place.  In that case, I make sure to "via @pinterestuser" so that they get proper credit."

Victoria / SF Girl by Bay: "I never pin anything I don't know the source of."

Kirsten / Simply Grove: "My biggest tip is to pin from the correct url.  It's frustrating when I click on the link and it only takes me to a blog and not the direct link."

Tara / Tara Whitney Photography: "If you think you have bad links on your boards, go through your pins and fix them.  I am currently in the process of doing this on my own boards as I want to make sure people are getting proper credit."

Victoria / A Subtle Revelry / Styled Mag: "Bold, straight front photos with a striking contrast seem to be the most shared and everyone seems to love sharing DIY projects.  I think almost all pinners have a "craft" or "stuff to make" board."

Lindsay / M.Stetson Design: "My newest goal with pins is to use proper keywords in the descriptions so it will help others find them when they search."

Bottom line: Pinterest is pretty much one of the prettiest places on the web.  Let's keep it good lookin' on the inside and out!  If you have any comments, thoughts or tips to share, please do!

Snippets

How was your weekend?  I spent Saturday morning making my creme fraiche chocolate bundt cake for an auction at my children's school.  First, I hit two different grocerty stores to pick up ingredients (wanted specific brands of things and the best price on each), then made the cake, decorated it and finally placed it on a nice serving tray ready for bidding.

And then I found out the auction is NEXT Saturday.

Boy, sometimes you try to be so organized only to be humbled by your own disorganization :) Funny how that works!  I decided to grab a stack of paper plates and started filling them with slabs of cake and ganache for the neighbors.  I think they like it when I make mistakes like this.

After consoling myself with a wedge of chocolate decadence, I enjoyed some afternoon rays coming through the windows and looked around my space.  I thought about how much I appreciate the little things here and there.  Life doesn't have to be fancy in order to find enjoyment and satisfaction with one's environment.  We can always find pieces or things that evoke a mood, a memory or that simply uplift us on days when life feels anything but efficient, organized, fun, or glamorous.  I hope you'll humor me as I make this record and attempt to document the small things that offer up daily doses of inspiration--things for which I am truly grateful.

Things like...bowls of fruit (or in this case, a trifle dish full of bananas!) or a tiny painting...

...or the plant that I've somehow managed to keep alive (and its pot, which I love)...and the toy I found on the back of the couch.  #lifewithkids

Books lined up in a row...

I also love this little air plant from West Elm (glass "vase" too)...and of course the ranoculus from the other day.  Such a pretty flower.

Last, the solitary piece of plastic food I found on the window sill in the living room...I hate to be redundant, but I do love finding things like this around my home.  Evidence that the toys have expanded outside the playroom boundaries :)  I know that someday, I'll be wishing for more moments like these; so until then I'll enjoy 'em when I can.  

Comparison

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”

 ~E.E Cummings

Yes, I know we've discussed the topic of comparison before (start here if you'd like), but I think it's an important message that needs to be revisited often in a world where we are constantly bombarded with great ideas, inspiration and a knowledge (albeit edited) of what everyone else is doing...all the time.  It's easy to get sucked into the unhealthy mindset of always thinking about others' status updates and then comparing those with our own lives.  Sometimes we find ourselves feeling like less capable, less talented and less interesting people.  This is when it's a good time to take a deep breath and contemplate the beauty of different (Karen talks a lot about this on her blog).  We are all on different paths and experiencing a completely different combination of circumstances.  Why is it so easy to forget that, even as grown adults?

One thing I know to be true is this...no one has it all.  No one does it all.  There is always something being given up, but often we don't see that.  We only see the exciting adventures being shared, the cute outfits, the well dressed children, the financial success, the fabulous and frequent vacations, the pretty websites, the gorgeous apartment, the amazing DIY projects, etc.  What we don't see is so much more reflective of a person's "real" life and those things are typically kept private for good reason.  Most people prefer to keep difficult circumstances, trials, challenges and issues to themselves as they quietly seek to work through them the best they can.  I love the quote, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" (source). 

I shot images of ranoculus for this post because they are not only gorgeous, little things but they are also layered.  In fact, that is what makes them so beautiful to me, the papery thin layers that together create a flower that many deem the loveliest of them all (I may be one of those people...).  Think of all the layers within yourself that together create the unique person that you are.  There is absolutely no reason to ever think you are anything but beautiful and talented in your own way; regardless of what you may view on websites, blogs or Facebook.  As Joslyn so wisely said at ALT, "there is room for everyone to experience success", i.e. there is no reason to be jealous or to compare.  I wholeheartedly believe Joslyn's words to be true, both online and in real life--the latter being the most important of all. 

{more words on this sensitive issue here, here, here and here}

And with that, I wish you a very happy day!

images by me 

Eugène Atget + Weekend Plans {or Lack Thereof!}

If I were in New York this weekend, I'd stop by the Eugène Atget exhibition at the MoMA so I could appreciate one of my favorite 20th century photographers up close and personal.  Alas, I am not in New York and will instead be here in Seattle listening to the rain fall as I fold laundry, rally my children to do their chores and bake cookies :)  Nothing super exciting, but you know what, sometimes you just need weekends to not be exciting.  Know what I mean? 

Have a good one friends!  A bientôt!

images by Eugène Atget, MoMa

A Surprise Package

We all know that the best anecdote for feeling glum is to do something nice for someone else, right?  Focusing our minds and efforts on thinking of another not only makes the recipient feel watched over,  but it helps us forget our own problems too (or what we perceive to be problems).  I firmly believe that making a paradigm shift towards constantly thinking of others will help us all be happier people.  Karma...totally believe in it, do you?  

So I've got a great idea as to how you make that good turn today...how about putting together a simple surprise package?  One that you dress up all fancy and pretty and then send in the mail with no forewarning. Yup, that's the kind I'm talking about...and it's guaranteed to make your friend's day.  I am living proof :)



Your package doesn't have to be expensive to put together--a few things from around the house mixed with some store-bought gems are just the ticket.  Have fun and be creative by coming up with a theme...like "sweet and salty", "red and white", "favorites" or "sunshine yellow" (like the one above that the lovely Miss Rebecca put together).  Surely you have a few bits and baubles you'd like to share; and a box should be easy to find around the house, yes?  If you're having trouble feeling inspired as to what to place inside your surprise package, jump on Etsy and start searching by color.  I typed in one of my favorite colors (periwinkle), and it turns out there are over 9,000 items on Etsy listed under that color if you can believe it!  Oh, and if you don't have tissue paper on hand, don't fret--try using parchment or wrapping paper instead.

p.s. a fun twist would be kamikaze surprise packages...assembling and mailing several out on the same day.  Just think of all the good cheer you'd spread!

Hyperemesis Gravidarum

I've written this post ten times in my head over the past year and a half.  Why it's taken me until now to actually post it, I don't exactly know.  But, what I do know is that I feel compelled to share my experience with hyperemesis gravidarum here with you...in hopes that something shared here helps the few of you out there that experience this condition (p.s. I'll be referring to it as "HG" going forward). A couple of you have written to me over the years when pregnant and we've consoled each other via email, but I feel like it's important to reach more of you and offer up support in the form of this post...chock full of advice, tips and validation.  I guess you could say I've learned a few things over the course of four pregnancies with this condition. If something I share helps you in the smallest way, it will have been more than worth my time. 

Described by WebMD as "a rare disorder characterized by severe and persistent nausea and vomiting during pregnancy that may necessitate hospitalization", hyperemesis gravidarum affects less than 3% of all pregnant women; so chances are you don't know a lot of women who experience HG.  But if you do, it's important you understand what she is experiencing, as best as you can. She will always remember how you stuck by her side during a horrific period and hold you dear for the rest of her life (I know this because I feel that way about those who helped me!).  Or, more importantly, if you have HG, it's important you have as much helpful, positive information on hand about this disorder as possible.

If you're interested in reading more on the subject of hyperemesis gravidarum, please click "read more" below.  As always, please chime in on the comments if you'd like to add to the conversation and share your own thoughts/tips/advice.  I realize every woman's experience is slightly different than that of another so the more information presented, the better :)  Also, if you have any questions for me, please comment on this post so we can all learn from each other.  Thanks!

update: dear friends, those who suffer from infertility may read these words and think, "well, at least you were able to get pregnant...I'd endure anything, including HG, just to have a baby", and I want to say that those are valid feelings.  My heart goes out to you if you are experiencing this challenge.  Pregnancy, in all forms, is a sensitive issue indeed; all we can do is try to support one another and show empathy for each other's different trials in life. 

The Differences Between American and French Parenting Styles

A couple of days ago I received a surprise package in the mail from Amazon.  Inside was a book called "Bringing Up Bébé--a book written by an American mother raising her children in Paris.  Upon giving birth in France, the former Wall Street Journal reporter immediately began noticing that the French raise their children quite differently than American parents.  Fascinated by the differences, she began taking notes, that eventually led to the making of this book; which looks very interesting (and controversial) by the way.

Now there was no invoice inside the package...or a note...or any indication as to who sent this book to me.  I can only infer that someone thoughtfully gifted it because they thought I'd be genuinely interested in the subject (which I am) or that I need a little help in the parenting department (a likely scenario!).  Regardless though, I am touched by someone's thoughtfulness...if you were the one that send this to me out of the blue, thank you! 

Back to the subject of French and American parenting styles...there has been much talk of this subject lately, mostly due to the release of this book (you can brush up on all the hullabaloo here and here).  Clearly a fascination is emerging and questions are being raised as to what is best.  I must confess that when we lived there, not a week went by when my husband and I didn't discuss this very subject.  We couldn't figure out why our children didn't behave quite the same (i.e. not as well) as their French counterparts.  We tried to put our finger on what exactly led to these differences, but never quite figured it out.  Let me share a few stories that will help you understand the subtle differences between our two cultures: 

One Saturday our family took a break from working on the house and we all went to the local market together.  As usual, we didn't get out of the house as soon as we planned for and ended up being at the market right during lunch time.  Our youngest child at the time was 2 and obviously not old enough to entirely reason with (at least in my mind--a French parent may disagree).  She began to get fussy and a bit fiesty (we blame the then red hair), so I bought her a little basket of wild strawberries and placed them on her lap for her to munch on while I finished up my shopping.  Interestingly enough, she and I began to receive a lot of stares, looks, chuckles, even finger pointing.  Initially I was confused, but then realized that we were doing something considered very American--snacking.  Apparently allowing my daughter to eat outside the borders of a kitchen table during the designated lunch hour was considered very entertaining!  A French parent would've made her child wait...I, however, did not. 

On another occasion I took my two youngest to the nearest IKEA, which was about 3 hours away.  If you've ever been in the car with young children, you understand how stressful this can be at times.  When we pulled up to the big, blue building, all I could think about was how nice it was going to be to drop my kids off at the little childcare center and allow them to play and release some energy after being in the car for awhile.  Plus, I was in the mood for a little break admittedly.  But as luck would have it, the playland was full and so my disappointed children would have to squeeze into a itsy bitsy cart for a couple of hours while I navigated the packed aisles trying to make good buying decisions.  Feeling a little stressed out by the crowds and my tired, whiny children, I did what any American mother would do...I whipped out a little iPod and headphones for my kids.  And even though the cartoons were in French (Petit Ours Brun), I again received lots of looks, pointing fingers, laughs, etc.  The fact that I was trying to keep my children entertained (vs. them entertaining themselves) was what set me apart from my French friends. 

Based on experience, I believe there are positive things about each culture, and the secret is to glean the best from both worlds to create your own personal parenting style.  I would love to hear any of your own thoughts, observations, experiences, etc.  It's truly a fascinating issue to think about! 

images by Stephanie Brubaker

Simple Pleasures

This morning I'm thinking a lot about the simple pleasures in life and how they carry us through and enhance our seemingly ordinary days; that is, if we take the time to notice them.  For most people, life is about getting through the day-to-day (and in some cases, just getting by), and making the most of what we've got.  In order to optimize the joy in our lives, it's critical to note the simple pleasures--the small joys--that really affect our day. 

Things like paper whites blooming in the window, a cup of good tea after the little ones are in bed or perusing a beautiful cookbook and feeling inspired.  Perhaps an inexpensive bouquet of tulips in your bathroom, a parking spot right up front when you're running late, peeking at old family photos or a handwritten card in the mail bring a smile to your face.  As we begin to think about the small and simple pleasures in life, a pattern will begin to form and gratitude will start growing within us, bringing a lift to our spirits. 

What are some of the simple pleasures you enjoy?  What do you take notice of in everyday life that inspires and uplifts you?

images by Stephanie Brubaker for stephmodo

Driftwood, Sunshine + a Terrarium

I awoke to sunshine.  In February.  In Seattle.  The day was looking promising!

I went about my morning steadily, trying to deal with all the little things that often go wrong in the morning as one readies 4 children for the day; all the while thinking about Mara's advice on choosing happiness in this poignant essay, which is technically about infertility, but it encompasses so much more.  A few hours later, the sun was still shining gloriously in the sky, continuing to lift my spirits.  I finished preparing the lunch that I would later share with a couple of new friends, and then slid it into the fridge before donning my walking shoes.

Sunglasses in hand, we left to explore a little more of Discovery Park.  In the back of my mind I thought about the terrarium on my dining room table that was in need of one more "ingredient" to look complete.  During these typically dreary months, it is so vital to a space's overall energy to bring a little of the outdoors inside and I find that terrariums do the trick! (see more here, here and here). 

Well, it turned out that this particular beach was full of driftwood--all shapes and sizes (we've even seen people snag large pieces for furniture here before); and finding exactly what I needed took only a few minutes.  And now my terrarium is complete...and the day is over.  If there is one thing I've learned this past year, it is to appreciate beautiful, sunshine-filled moments when you have them!

images by Stephanie Brubaker

ALT's Greatest Hits

Perhaps you spotted all the buzz on Twitter or Facebook last week about the Altitude Design Summit held in Salt Lake City, Utah (speaking of FB, I finally joined in...come say hi!).  Sure, it's a lot of mixing and mingling, but it's also about giving and receiving useful advice and loads of inspiration.  In case you weren't able to attend, or you were there but missed out on certain panels, I thought I'd share the tips/advice/words of wisdom I gleaned from the conference.  I'm hoping these three points will resonate with you as well:

1.  Brooke Reynolds of Inchmark said during the panel on Work/Life Balance, "Decide which balls to put down and which to juggle.  Not all balls are created equal and some weigh more than others.  And some balls cannot be dropped".  I thought this was a clever way of putting perspective on priority maintenance.  Brooke also advised us to not be reactive by starting our day answering and checking the "gibber gabber" (i.e. email, twitter, facebook, etc.), but to instead be proactive about achieving your goals.  Lots of sage advice from that lady's lips :)

2.  My friend Joslyn of the blog Simple Lovely, shared some thought provoking tips as well (as usual!).  She said, 'when collaborating (and may I add, not just on blogs), be sure you don't "pair off"; meaning, always talk about everything together and be inclusive.  Don't gossip.' And perhaps what is my favorite tidbit from ALT is Joslyn's reminder that there is room for everyone to be successful and that there is no need to be jealous.  Everyone can experience success with grace, honesty, kindness and hard work. 

3. Our closing keynote speaker was Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project--a book I've started to read little by little (it takes time to process each of her points I think).  Gretchen shared loads of wisdom, but I think one of the most interesting points she made was that `happiness is not selfish.  In fact, it will actually make you more selfless.  Studies show that happy people are more concerned about the problems of other people and are more likely to help out.'  Gretchen goes on to say that "one of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself; because we all want to be around happy people!".

I'd love to hear your thoughts too...y'all are always full of great insight yourselves!

image by Justin Hackworth--more images from ALT can be found here. 

Date Night

Have you ever noticed that the longer you are married or in a committed relationship, the messier the bedroom becomes and the less frequent you find yourselves out on a date?  Isn't it ironic that the most important relationship gets more or less tossed to the back burner and less pressing matters take center stage?  This is an interesting phenomenon I've thought a lot about in the past few years as I've observed couples pay less and less attention on each other (and more on hobbies, work and their children).  I've learned that scheduling time for date nights makes a sizable impact on the happiness and satisfaction you feel within your married relationship; this is particularly true if you have children.

If you have a trusted babysitter or family member nearby, why not call or text them right now and schedule a night out for the upcoming weekend?  If you don't have either, perhaps consider a babysitting swap with a friend.  Often good friends are just as helpful as family and chances are you have a trusted friend in the same boat.  Maybe one weekend night you tend her kiddos and then she tends yours on the other.  We actually participate in this type of babysitting swap at least once a month.  Date nights are far more relaxing when we don't have to worry about forking out $15/hour!  That being said, even if you don't have the opportunity to participate in a babysitting swap, "...recognize that a babysitter is cheaper than a divorce" (source).

Frequency of date nights is also important.  Making time for two dates each month is typically ideal for most couples.  If you have children, allow yourselves to spend some time discussing your children and their needs on one of the two monthly dates.  Then be sure to make that second date all about you and your spouse.  No kid talk allowed :)  If your spouse works extremely late hours and/or travels during the week, then you may want to consider upping your dates nights from twice monthly to once a week.  If you have budget constraints, then plan a date night "in" every now and again.  A movie and takeout enjoyed after the kids are in bed can be a lot of fun too! 

Here are some fun date night ideas beyond dinner and a movie, (which have their place mind you!), to jump start your next date night:

1.  a music-themed evening--the symphony, a jazz club or an outdoor concert are all interesting and provide a change of scenery. 

2.  hanging out in a bookstore together--I love the idea of holing up in the dark corner of a locally-owned bookstore, but often the only ones open at night are Barnes and Noble so we typically head there.

3.  dance lessons--I actually bought these on Groupon (which for the record has encouraged me to do so many things out-of-the-box), because I don't feel like my dancing skills have improved since middle school (shuffling around in a circle doesn't count as dancing, right?).  Deals on Living Social or Google Offers often offer similar activities. 

4.  stay outdoors--night skiing, a bike ride, a walk along the beach, a picnic on the lawn, and a carriage ride downtown, to name a few.

5. double dating--it's not just for high-schoolers :)  Especially when it comes to bowling, which we can technically make #6 :)

What are some of your date night ideas?

image snapped on an iPhone outside Bi-Rite Creamery in San Francisco's Mission District

La Fin de l'Année

Hello, hello! A belated Merry Christmas to you all!  How was your holiday?  Did you find that you were able to enjoy yourself and truly savor this special time of year?  I hope so...everyone deserves a nice Christmas.  We were fortunate enough to spend a very relaxed holiday with friends...friends who kindly allowed a very curious Baby Gray to eat the popcorn garlands from the bottom third of their Christmas tree all evening...all in the name of enjoying lots of adult conversation.  If that isn't true friendship, I don't know what is!

So it's December 29th and you're likely already thinking about what you want to experience, become and accomplish in 2012.  Isn't it wonderful that we have a fresh start ahead of us, a new chapter in our lives so to speak?  I am grateful for this new season of life and the chance I have to improve myself and develop better habits.  At the top of my list for 2012 is tackling my health, in all forms.  It's been on my mind for awhile and now that I'm 35, I feel a sense of urgency.  According to many health-related studies I've read, this is the age where everything starts to count.  Ay yay yay.

What about you?  What is on your mind?  Do you have a goal or two up your sleeve?

p.s. when I think of paper whites, I cannot help but associate them with January and New Year's Day.  How lucky we are that such a pretty flower can bloom in the most dreary of months, reminding us of beauty and hope.  Have a wonderful day my friends...see you tomorrow!

image by Nina Broberg for IKEA Livet Hemma - used with permission

Christmas Report Card

I realize Christmas Day isn't here just yet and that a report card is a tad premature; but, since the two days before Christmas is mostly full of baking, cooking, wrapping and delivering, I figure I can give myself a decent assessment on holiday preparations.  Some of you know my report card wasn't looking so hot last year; but that's okay because the fact that it was lackluster motivated me to make sure this one was memorable in all the right ways.

Here are some things I did right this year that made the month of December sweeter and less stressful:

1. If you hand write Christmas cards, buy them after Christmas at a discount and then save them for next year.  Even buy pretty stamps for the cards and store them together.  This not only ensures that you will in fact send cards the next year, but is cost-effective and a timesaver too.  One less thing to worry about next November...check.

2.  Buy holiday dresses and Christmas pajamas after Christmas (i.e. January) or in October, before Halloween.  This year I bought my girls these stylish and reasonably-priced dresses.  This is my first experience with Next and so far so good.   I found my kids pajamas on Ebay...a great place to find high-end children's clothing for reasonable prices if you're cool with closeouts. 

3.  Tell yourself that all Christmas preparations need to be done by Halloween so that you actually get them done by Thanksgiving :)  This ensures a peaceful December and lots of time to bake cookies for the neighbors. 

4.  If you don't have the opportunity to spend time with family on Christmas or Christmas Eve, then make plans with good friends in the same boat.

5.  Make an effort to share your means or talents with those less fortunate in some way...and do it on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.  Everyone desires a nice holiday so if you can help out in some way, even if small, then it counts big time!

What are some things you did this December (or earlier in the year) to make holiday preparations more enjoyable?  I still feel like I'm trying to get this down and would love to hear any input from you...

image 1 - my favorite little nativity set about the house  /  image 2 - our Christmas cards with Minted skinny labels...love!

Love these Words

A beautiful set of words that popped into my mind last week...

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

So often we think we understand what is going on in another persons life, but in reality we know very little, as not everyone wears their challenges/struggles/"battles", on their sleeves.  This quote serves as a sweet reminder to be softer, more understanding, less judgmental and forgiving.  Happy is the person who masters this, yes?

source

Au Revoir Autumn + Thanking You

Although the winter solstice doesn't take place until just before Christmas, it's hard not to feel like winter begins the day after Thanksgiving.  The vibrant leaves are almost entirely fallen, holiday preparations go into play, and snow often settles in; and there's nothing autumnal in feel to any of those things in my book.  It seems that Spring and Autumn are shorter seasons than their more clingy counterparts, Summer and Winter; and that is precisely why enjoying Autumn right down to the very last day (that feels like Autumn) is so important. 

As we bid adieu to this season, I want to thank you for your support and encouragement.  Those of you who take the time to comment on posts truly make my day...so thank you!  I hope you have a lovely holiday today (bonus points for drama-free family get-togethers!) and enjoy the extended weekend.  xoxo to you all.

Thoughts on Thanksgiving Day Prep

For many of you, today will be filled with baking, cooking and a probably a few last minute runs to the store; and of course, this is all whilst "real life" takes place around us.  I am trying to calmly talk myself through what feels like a very hectic day and give myself repeated reminders to keep in mind what the holiday is truly about.  No one, after all, enjoys being around an agitated or stressed out host!  I read this gentle reminder a few years ago in the introduction of one of Ina Garten's cookbooks and I've never forgotten this sage piece of advice. 

My goal is to keep Thanksgiving simple in every sense.  I will likely not have anything but flowers on my table and place cards my daughter makes from construction paper.  The dishes we prepare will not be complex, just made from good ingredients.  My tablecloth will likely be a bit wrinkled and there is a strong possibility that paper towels will become napkins.  The goal is to enjoy keeping alive the Thanksgiving traditions we've thoughtfully put into place over the last few years.  So today I will make a conscious effort to stay focused on the point of this beautiful holiday.  Can you tell I'm trying to convince myself as I write? :)

Off to get dressed and run to the store...

A rundown of our Thanksgiving menu after the jump...

A Day Off

Right now, as I type this post, the sun is starting to rise, seagulls are hovering over the soccer field below us and leaves move like acrobats in the bursts of wind that come and go.  My kids are enjoying the fact they don't have to hurry off to school and are instead playing pretend school in the basement (love the irony there!).  We are planning on writing letters/cards, an outing to the MOHAI (we purchased a pass on Groupon last year- and a few rounds of the "clean up game".  I also participate in a dinner swap with a friend and tonight is my night to cook for their family.  I'll be making Lemon Herb Roasted Chicken over baby potatoes...a chilly Autumn day calls for comfort food, wouldn't you agree? 

What are you up to today?

Gratitude: 10 Things

At the end of summer vacation, we rewarded our kids with a trip to Salt Lake City (they tried so hard to be good this summer so we would have "energy" to take them on a road trip) .  It's a loooong drive (13 hours, no stops) and since Ben and I can only handle Dan Zane for so long, we gave several Ted talks some serious airtime.  

One particular talk stood out during that road trip--a talk by Neil Pasricha about looking for and documenting the "awesome things" in life.  Examples included snow days, finding money in a pocket and underwear right out of the dryer.   Neil's blog, which he started during a painful divorce, isn't necessarily design-savvy, but it's compelling in that it conjures up thoughts you might not entertain otherwise.  While listening to him, I felt immediately inspired to try and take up journal writing again.  Now this is something I've never been good at doing, but I do have strong feelings about the importance of writing down thoughts and feelings that be a positive influence later on--either for ourselves or others who might read our journals at some point.  

So I picked up an inexpensive Japanese notebook and started writing 10 things that I am grateful for each day...like a great parking spot downtown, or a note from my son on my nightstand, or a poignant email, or even a short burst of sunshine.  Some of the points were lengthy, and some were short and sweet...the great thing is that it doesn't really matter!  After just a few days I started to notice my outlook steering in a lighter direction and it felt wonderful. I'm really in love with the idea as it's a guilt-free method of documenting the simple, everyday moments in life.  

Today, the 10 things I am grateful for are...

1. the chance I had to get away, work hard, and to meet genuine and lovely people

2. a warm bed at night.

3. having a dishwasher and the time it frees up to do other things.

4. that I only had one casualty in my suitcase (I brought home a lot of yogurt pots and jars!)

5. that my children actually missed me

6. that someone rearended our van--as now our insurance co. will pay for new carseats (no one was remotely injured thank goodness)

7. a friend unexpectedly coming into town

8. climbing an apple tree last week and feeling like a kid again

9. that 2 of my 3 older kids ate squash soup last night

10. the chance to celebrate 12 years of marriage today :)

What are 10 things you are grateful for today?  I'd love to read your list too; in fact I'd bet we'd all be inspired by each other's "10 things", so if you feel so inclined, please share!

images 1, 2, and 4 by moi / image 3 - Aran Goyoaga